I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
