Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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