my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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