you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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