I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
