i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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