Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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