Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize