wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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