The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
