oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
