My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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