I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
