it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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