I could have mohawked her pubes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
