just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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