I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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