Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
