dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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