I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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