life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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