ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
