how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
