I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
