I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
