we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
