living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
