the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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