In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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