Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
