So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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