If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
