So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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