do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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