God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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