Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
