I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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