she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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