And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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