i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize