can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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