aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
