found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
