He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
