if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
