on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
