so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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