so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
