I got chris browned last night
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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