Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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